lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
