I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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