I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Randomize
