I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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