glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
