So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
