it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
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