i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Enjoy the penises
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
