So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Randomize