My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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