..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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