Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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