yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
