Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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