We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
