Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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