Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Can Purell be used as lube?
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
