then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
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