Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
