He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize