I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
