the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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