So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Randomize
