Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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