am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
