i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize