I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
21 Disappointing Confessions From Teenage Fathers
I just gift wrapped bread.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
19 Of The Most Epic “I Quit’ Stories Ever
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager