If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.