i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Its about making memories worth repressing
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
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