We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner