the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I love you. Go after that dick
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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