what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I could fuck to npr.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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