All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
