You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
