Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
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