He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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