i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize