I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Duck Duck Cougar?
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
