Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
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hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
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He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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