just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Randomize
