i'm signing you up for texting rehab
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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