I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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