Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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