he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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