Can Purell be used as lube?
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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