you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
