she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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