Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
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Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
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for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
its liver damage thursday
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