shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
they're like a gay fantastic four
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
