two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
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When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
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I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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