Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
