If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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