If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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