please come you make the beer taste better
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
