she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
