i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
