took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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