my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize