you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
