Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Let's get the cat blown out
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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