Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
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