just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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