Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
These 21 Drunks Said The Darndest Things
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
These 25 Irresponsible People Blew All Their Cash On Drugs, Booze, & Sex
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.