South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
